The invention provides a remote wireless network household appliance control system, which comprises a wireless module, a household appliance, a wireless gateway, servers and a handheld terminal. A wireless transceiver and a microcontroller are arranged in the wireless module; the household appliance is connected with the wireless module; the wireless gateway is connected with a router; the servers comprise a web server, a database server and network household appliance control software; the servers are connected with the wireless gateway through an Internet network; and the handheld terminal is connected with the household appliance through a wireless network. An access control method comprises the following steps that: TCP reliable communication using a Socket as a core is established between the network household appliance control software and the wireless gateway; the wireless gateway is automatically connected with the network household appliance control software and sends a user name; the network household appliance control software binds the user name and a Socket ID; the web server and the network household appliance control software exchange data through a database; and the web server receives the access of a remote PC host. The system and the method not only can implement remote household appliance control, but also can adapt to multiple online modes, are convenient to upgrade, and have high flexibility.